Can I borrow a Pen?     15th Feb 2012

Ever asked a Pen Geek, "Can I borrow a pen?"

If so, you'll know this question automatically elicits the response,

"What's it for?"

We're not answering a question with a question to be smart, but because the specifics of the task in hand will determine

a.     what pen you need and

b.    whether or not we can indeed lend it to you.

For example:

Tattooing your mate

Like the Olympics, the important issue here is ‘Legacy'.

Whilst an owl bopping away to some funky beats on supersized headphones might seem cool at 2am on a Saturday, it may not be so cool the following Monday when your friend rocks up to teach a class of 5 year olds / heal the sick / sell a house etc.

Tattoos require fiber tip nibs and water soluble, non permanent black ink.

Perfect pen: The good old Sharpie Fine

Leaving a passive aggressive note in the office

The severity of crime necessitating the note will determine pen choice.

Lesser misdemeanors (i.e stapler theft) require a cheeky but firm message.

Think ‘gentle scold to a petulant scamp' as opposed to full on rage attack.

A jaunty but bold colour (I'd suggest green or orange) and a simple felt tip ought to do the trick.

Block capitals to emphasise gravity, but add a smiley face at the end to ensure you close on a high.

Perfect pen: A Sharpie Mini

More serious offences (i.e leaving stinky food in the office fridge) warrant a less measured approach.

Think chisel cut nib, permanent ink in red or black.

Block capitals.

Multiple underscoring of key words or phrases.

No smiley faces.

You mean business.

A pen with a fat enough barrel to allow you to grip it with a clenched fist is also preferable in these circumstances.

Perfect pen: An Edding 500 Permanent Marker Chisel Red

Your Gran's 80^th Birthday card

This requires neatly written script of a fairly decent size (just incase Nan's lost her specs) - nothing too inky or free flowing which might encourage a scrawly greeting.

I'd stick to a nice traditional blue ink (respectful), this is not a time for neon pink glitter.

Nor is it an appropriate occasion for punchy block capitals - you'll startle the old dear.

Perfect pen: The Pilot Arcoball Deluxe Ballpoint in Medium Blue.

Poster for your Missing Cat

(or any beloved mammal who's gone AWOL)

This needs to be attention grabbing and convey a depth of sentiment and emotional turmoil proportional to the loss.

The use of colour is not only eye catching but also gives the text a homely, family crafted feel which will tug at the heart strings of any passer-by without a heart of stone.

Bold, opaque poster paint ink in a variety of eye catching colours will help ensure Heidi the Cat is returned home safe and sound.

Perfect pen: Uni POSCA Marker Pens

Post-it note of affection (to be hidden in lunchbox, Filofax etc)

An unexpected little treat like this will benefit from a layered approach.

Go tactile and multisensory with a scented glitter pen.

If you're going to get all cute and fluffy, you might as well embrace the concept fully.

Perfect pen: Sanrio Hello Kitty fruit scented glitter pen

Fed up of borrowing and want your own? Most of these little beauties can be purchased from the good people at Cult Pens.