No-one warned me of the emotional turmoil involved in launching a Kickstarter project.

It’s not all quirky videos, rewards and high fives –

There’s crippling fear, panic, self doubt, regret, hope, anxiety, joy, relief and pure delight.

(In that order).

 

As I mentioned in Week 8, putting my project live left me feeling very, very naked.

I pretty much asked the world to judge me.

Cue agonising self doubt.

 

 

The void between hitting the Launch button and receiving that first pledge was tortuous.

I quickly Googled

“Kickstarter projects that received zero pledges”

Then immediately regretted it.

(It’s like Googling your symptoms; never worth the anxiety)

 

Many page refreshes (and a spot of repetitive strain injury) later the reassurance that someone had faith in me was delivered!

(Eternal thanks to Jo Hodge, fellow DJCAD textiles grad and my first ever Kickstarter backer – you saved me in my darkest moment!)

 

As the days slipped past, the tally nibbled upward.

I nudged and pushed, trying to balance the fine line between promotion and irritation.

 

A week to go and the rising total tapered off…

I was only half way there with 5 days to go.

 

My mum stopped mentioning it, a sure sign that she was worried I wouldn’t make it.

I imagine her calculating what she needs to flog on Ebay in order to save her first born from the inevitable.

 

I wanted to crawl under a large, green, K shaped rock and hide.

Perhaps I could just stop mentioning Wonderbeasts, somehow hide it in the internet between Bebo and Napster?

Just gloss over the whole thing?

 

Thankfully, I got a grip.

Being scared is no reason to give up, it’s why we should try harder.

I rationalise that if something was easy, there’d be very little point in doing it.

(And everyone else would be doing it anyway)

A healthy dose of fear often inspires the best in me.

I pushed the project hard and vowed not to go down without a fight.

 

As if by magic, the pledges started to flutter in once again.

The £4k target was tantalizingly close…

Life ground to a halt, replaced by a single obsessive need;

To monitor pledges.

 

The anticipation was agonizing as we slowly inched our way

c l o s e r…

Then suddenly, like a rollercoaster tipping over the summit, we smashed straight through the target and rocketed towards the £5k mark!

 

How did this happen?!

Stretch goals were scrambled;

1 plausible, 1 hopeful and 1 completely overly ambitious and optimistic.

 

I stared in complete disbelief as the tally continued to rise.

People believed in the project!

I felt incredibly humbled.

 

The final day.

Emotional exhaustion had set-in.

We were £1k from doubling the original goal.

Maybe, just maybe…?

 

The clock struck midnight, the pledge pot closed.

By some bizarre twist of internet destiny, my little drawing project had amassed 152 co-creators and just over £8,000!

I was relieved that we’d made it,

Overjoyed that we’d smashed every single stretch goal

And incredibly thankful to each and every pledger who put their faith in me.

 

Wow.

 

152 people have invested their hard earned cash into my next piece of work,

So I’m going to make dam sure it’s the very best thing I’ve ever drawn.

 

Kickstarter, it’s been emotional.

 

Jx

Big thanks to Creative Scotland who supported the Sabbatical through a Professional Development Grant.